His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
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Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
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Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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