She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
