What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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