Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
