What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
