college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
