Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
