After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
