He is an equal opportunity slut.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
