I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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