i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize