do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
