Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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