she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
