You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
