I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
