If that was your dad, he is hot
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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