I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
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