K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
