Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
