I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
