i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
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Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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