Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Randomize
