Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
