I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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