Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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