This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
