She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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