Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize