is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
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Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
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I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
How does it feel to date your dad?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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