i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
