Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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