I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
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As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
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I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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