You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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