She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
