A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
