ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
