I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize