If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
