Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
