I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
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