The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I still have a little drunk in my system
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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