There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
