Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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