that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
