quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
