Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
