I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
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