Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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