just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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