..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
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We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
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The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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