If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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