just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
