all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
