I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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