I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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