I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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