what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Randomize
