Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Also, beer. Big fan.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Randomize
