i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
