The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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