I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
