absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Randomize
