do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
