if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
