she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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